The beginning of this week brought stress, lack of motivation, and a lot of uncertainty. I still feel like I'm going to be missing out on a lot because I've started working part time and my full time position starts in a few weeks. May was pretty mellow and things just sort of came and went. Now, though, plans are in the making and I either have no desire to go or I can't because I work. I'm missing out on a Hedley concert that my friends are going to. I'm most likely missing out on this Saturday's club outing with the girls because I have to be at my camp office early Sunday morning to fill out paperwork potentially followed by a day at my aunt's house with my cousin, my mom, and my other aunt as we take care of my grandmother. I don't want to be exhausted and moody all day and I know that a night out until 3:00am or 4:00am will provide me with that. I'll just see how I feel, I guess. I'd like to go to have fun dancing but I feel like my priorities and my obligations are tough to break.
I'm not as stressed out as I was at the beginning of the week because of my body and weight, though. I've been sticking to my eating habits and I feel confident right now. I think I need to promise myself to stay away from the scale because the scale will only provide me with a number. It's not important to be a certain weight, but it is most important to feel good on the inside and on the outside (or so I continually try to tell myself).
I have yoga to thank for this change in attitude! Today I really did not feel like doing the hardest level of yoga on my Biggest Loser DVD, but I pushed myself and when I was through I felt amazing. I did almost every exercise for almost the entire time allotted. Whatever stress I had felt or was feeling had escaped with every bead of sweat that emerged from beneath my skin.
I also saw Nick tonight, which was nice. We were supposed to go to his siblings' school barbecue but plans changed and Nick thought he'd be working late. I began cooking dinner for my family when Nick called me saying he could be at my place in twenty minutes if I still wanted to go to the barbecue. If my dad hadn't left to go mow my grandmother's lawn and I hadn't already started cooking, I would have certainly gotten ready as fast as I could. However, my dad wasn't home because he was under the impression that he could leave to go do some chores at his mother's house while I got supper ready. Nick was with his dad and Nick's dad didn't like that I had to cook dinner and made a really upsetting comment. He said, "Doesn't her mom cook dinner?" I responded, "My mom's at work..." I doubt Nick's dad heard me but it pissed me off for about an hour or two.
Erg. I hate sexist people. I can't take it. It frustrates me so much. I become infuriated. Why can't a man cook dinner that isn't being made on the barbecue or on an open fire? Why can't a man clean the kitchen? Why do some people still think it's okay to make sexist and rude comments when humanity has come so far?
I wouldn't call myself a feminist, but I would call myself proud of my femininity and what I am able to accomplish for myself (whether or not I'm in the kitchen).
After this turn of events, Nick ended up coming to pick me up after dinner. We went to the mall for half-an-hour or so and I bought a cute purse for seven bucks! Then, we went to Timmies where Nick bought me a green tea. After, we went to this park near my house (where we've had all of our heart to hearts) and went on a short walk. He brought me home afterwards, since he is going to be waking up at 5:00am tomorrow morning for work. I wish I could've seen him for longer but it's okay. I'll see him sometime next week :)
That's pretty much my life in a blog post...