Life, however, doesn't always have this confirmation. I mean, it's nice to believe that everything is going to be okay, and 99.9 per cent of the time I'm thinking for a better future, but a situation I'm currently observing seems a long shot away from okay. The situation I'm talking about has to do with the old friend I mentioned in my previous post. I can't really get into too much detail about it, I'm not even sure I'm supposed to know, but I just want everything to be okay.
If it gets worse than this, I might have to step back. I've been honest with my friend and I've told her what I think. I can't exactly comment on the things I haven't been told by her, first hand. I sort of feel like nothing is true any more, and that scares me because I should know truth especially with someone I've known since I was very little.
I'm always going to blame myself for what happened a few years ago. That night sparked the beginning of this down-turning spiral, I assume. I haven't even been told about that incident first hand, either. But, maybe, just maybe, if I was there things could have been different. I know our actions provoke other actions and that nothing is ever one sole person's fault, but things could very well be different now if I had been involved that night.
Who knows what will go on from here.