release me.

I was just commenting on my friend's recent blog post when it hit me. Feeling nothing is hard while not consuming alcohol or drugs. Resorting to drugs and alcohol to escape, every single time, creates a dependency that can really mess up one's psyche (which actually means soul according to Greek mythology and philosophy). My friend didn't write about abusing alcohol or drugs to escape, her post just made me think.


I think one of my oldest friends, the one I always blog about that I'm also really worried about (not the friend who's blog I've just commented on), might be leaning towards a dependency on alcohol and life without food. It scares me. Escaping this world where we are conscious to live in a world where we don't have control over our actions is common. Every one needs to go out, drink, and dance every once and a while just to shake a bad mood but having the need to drink because you are not happy with your life, every single time you consume alcohol, has really bad consequences.


Though feeling nothing at all is hard to do while completely sober and with food in your stomach (since food can make a person feel full and overwhelmed), the hard work you put into feeling free and as if the waves are at your feet without any substance abuse or eating disorder going on, is a challenge that not only will make you feel as though you accomplished something without the misuse of a substance but it will also improve your outlook. Decisions you make, love you find, boys you flirt with, girls you fight with, problems you cause, problems others cause, etc. will all be remembered and all actions and reactions will be made based on a sober and full response.


I'm not saying it's not good to drink once in a while nor am I implying that reducing high fat, calorie, sugar, etc. foods in your diet is dangerous. I'm saying that the constant need to do something exciting without feeling in your lips, knees, and toes, without any control on how your mind works, and with the intention of not eating to be under 100 lbs and so drinking can reach your head faster, should never get to this point. If it does, I don't care who you are, you have something you need to talk about.


Sometimes I get scared because I don't think my good friend knows what it's like for her closest friends to be watching her spiral down. I've mentioned, before, that it's not right to be dependent on alcohol when she was around. Her reaction was that she's not dependent on alcohol. Perhaps not now, lovely, but if this continues to happen, it won't end well. 


I'm never going to give up on my friend. I'm never going to not hang out with her. I'm never going to not see how she's doing. However, there is only so much I can say. No matter how many times I try to intervene, what my friend is doing to herself needs to be changed from her, by her, and for her.