Saturday, May 15, 2010

I feel like the luckiest girl alive.

I have an unconditional friendship between so many loving girls that I would barely be able to live without. We tell each other how we feel, for the most part, hands down. We don't judge (unless we actually have to to save one of us). We cry in coffee shops. We get lost, sometimes. We don't know the road we're on but the time that it takes to travel that road is well worth it. No matter who we do or don't date, who we do or don't love, and what does or does not happen, there will always be us. It's always been and always will be this way. No matter what we say or feel, no matter who hurts us, no matter where we come from, things won't change. 

It's like we're at home out of house. We don't have four material walls or a roof over our heads keeping us close, we have a special homey bond that can withstand all wind storms, lightening bolts, and strong rains.

We've been through a lot; too much drinking, not drinking enough, eating too much, not eating enough, being too crazy, not taking many risks, getting hurt, causing the hurt, being abused, being scared, being shy, being untrusting, being self-conscious, being unaware, being forced, being ignored. Throughout the years we've experienced it all. No matter what happens in the next five or so years, things will always stay the same. We will grow and prosper. Some of us will face downward spirals while others will succeed. Perhaps all of us will do good things or all will fail entirely. No matter the amount of money in our bank accounts or the brand of shoes on our feet, there will always be us.

Our souls, naked. We see right through troubles that are being faced, even with a wall that tries to prevent anyone from getting in. We know, even if we don't want to. We play stupid games and over analyse everything. We're honest but on each other's sides.

Whether I'm here and she's there, somewhere down our roads we have experienced the same pain, the same joy, the same excitement, the same anxiety. Perhaps they have been felt on different scales and as a result of various incidents, but we all know what it feels like to be alone or to be smothered. 

We weren't placed in our elementary school so many years ago just so we could make fun of people who were prettier than us, have crushes on the same cute hockey player boys, or hate the fact that our grade five teacher made one of us cry... We were placed there for a reason. We were the outcasts and the misfits. We formed a union and together we strengthened that union. It has become unbreakable.

I'm very lucky. I sometimes take things for granted but these friendships, I will never overlook. I can't imagine my life without my oldest friends. Thinking of a potential time without them in the future brings tears to my eyes, every time. To our future, ladies. We will cry, we will laugh, we will scream, we will fight, we will send stupid messages, go to silly concerts, and spend way too much money. But, throughout all of that and all that we have already experienced, we will only make this friendship stronger. We're unbeatable. Get us together in one room and all you other fly mothers, you better watch out. We stick together like glue, Sean-ah-Paul. 

We know what it's like to have no self-esteem because of not being old enough to shave or wax, because of being too fat or too thin, because of being a klutz or being too nerdy. We've all been there and we're all going to feel self-conscious again at some point or another. Just remember the moment we are in right now because nothing will ever get much better than this.

1 comment:

~Abby~ said...

That's great you have friends like that and you don't take it for granted.
You're lucky. :)