Saturday, February 27, 2010

i'm not perfect.

I don't like it when I go to sleep feeling like I do when there's nothing to look forward to. I dislike it more when I wake up feeling the exact same way. Normally, if I'm in a bad mood, sleeping solves that problem and I wake up thinking how silly it was for me to be upset about nothing at all. That's not the case this time.

My life falls in exactly the same places every single day. I wake up, I have breakfast, I get ready for the day, I do homework, I go to class, I come back from class--if it's not the weekend or my day off--I do more homework (or absolutely nothing at all), and then I go to sleep.

This life has got the best of me.

Sometimes it feels like I'm just here to take up space. Like, God needed to fill up his quota of people so he just spit me out into the world. Sometimes I feel like I was "spit out" at the wrong time, too. That analogy makes no sense scientifically, but it works (I guess).

I hate this feeling and when I try and explain it, I come across like a depressed fool.

3 comments:

TehrenAnaiis said...

oh dolly! that sounds like my life. university takes the wind right out of my sails! im thankful my family has a house in banff or id probably go slightly mental from this calgary city life fdhskfhs haha

maybe all you need is a change!

Amanda said...

you do not come across as a depressed fool leviana coccia! we feel the way we do sometimes for a reason and sometimes we can't figure it out right at this moment. sometimes we need something to give us that realization. it's better to talk about your feelings, even if it is just venting on your blog. bottling that stuff up is awful and you know that best because its what you've always told me!!

Tehren is right though maybe you need to through another change into your life, something like what yoga/zumba did for you! maybe another hobby? who knows!

what i do know is that you are a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman who is going somewhere, so when you're a famous journalist doing what you want to do, don't forget me :)

<3<3<3

Hi, I'm Ashlee. said...

Miss Coccia,

You most definitely have a purpose in life. If nothing else, I can truly say that you've made a difference in my life.

I've never met anybody quite like you. You're beautiful, you're intelligent, you're funny, you're selfless.. you're truly an inspiration. I hope that you realize that someday soon ♥