only in toronto.

I'd like to think that what happened to Perez Hilton last night has some ironic connection to the new list of things not to do when in an emergency: twitter. When I logged into my account this morning, there were several tweets on my home page from the one and only saying that the gossip queen himself was assaulted by Will.I.Am. of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. 

Here are Perez's real tweets:

PerezHiltonI spoke to my lawyer. I really need to talk to the authorities. Please come to the SoHo Met Hotel. Have called the police. Need them here.

PerezHiltonStill waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel.

PerezHiltonI was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke.

Perez Hilton I'm in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHoMetropolitan Hotel now. Please.

PerezHiltonI am NOT going to let this affect my work. And today will be a day like any other on the website.

PerezHiltonI won't be talking about this any further. It is in the hands of the authorities.

PerezHiltonThank u all from the bottom of my heart for ur concern. The police are investigating the assault now. I did the right thing by reporting it.

PerezHiltonThe Toronto police are here now. Thank you. Please stop calling them.

PerezHiltonI'm going to try and nap for a bit.

(Image: Care of www.gettyimages.com)