Thursday, May 14, 2009

a quick update before i eat dinner.

I haven't really posted a lot this week because I've been busy. On Monday and Tuesday I had a sleepover with my best friends and then Tuesday night we surprised our friend with a 19th birthday dinner. I worked on Wednesday, I worked today, and I am working tomorrow. I got paid, which is good news. 

I'm hoping that this weekend I will get to go up to my friend Amanda's cottage. (I'm following her blog, P.S. it's called "A Fine Frenzy" and it's really interesting to read and her personal updates are really creative and cute). My dad's always been one to never give an answer until, oh the MINUTE before the deadline, and I'm waiting on his "OK" to go, as pathetic as it sounds. I'm almost 19, I don't ask for much, I work, I do well in school, I don't think I'm a bad kid, but there is still some lack of trust in me that he denies... every... single... time... Don't get me wrong, I love my dad to death and would go insane if he wasn't my father but at the same time (though there shouldn't really be any buts to love and family) I lived perfectly fine on my own in residence, I made it out without a scratch, my dad trusts me enough to go back to residence next year, yet he still gets flustered when I show signs of not being a little girl anymore. I guess this is all normal in a father-daughter relationship, but it's not as if I've run away from him. I'm standing right here, waiting for him to find it in himself to talk to me like a grown man. I'm still waiting and the clocks ticking. 

Here's the catch, we're currently in an argument, which was never something unusual for us, but when I was living on residence him and I never fought when I was home. Now, though, it's a whole different ball game. We're the exact same person, you see, and when I'm right and I know I'm right, no one can tell me otherwise (it's the same vice versa). I won't get into the entire argument here, it's a bit personal, but without the cocky implication, I know that I'm right in this situation, I just wish for one split second he could listen and understand where I'm coming from without feeling the need to run away. He doesn't have to agree with me, all I'm asking of him is to listen and try to understand where I am coming from. That's all.

I'm actually surprised at myself for writing this all out and posting it on my blog but I had to let some reflection out somehow, and my blog seemed like the perfect fit. 

I wrote this really fast so I apologize for any spelling/grammar errors.

No comments: