Wednesday, March 25, 2009

daddy's girl.

Her hair was tussled over her face and stuck to her cheeks, her eyes, and her mouth. She licked her lips and the salt that resided on the ends of her hair entered her body from her tongue. The mirror beside the bed was dusty but through her hair and the dust she could see him. His blonde hair covered his eyelids and his arms were wrapped around the blanket. His muscles pulsed as he slept. He looked satisfied. She managed to get up without waking him and wobbled her way to the washroom just down the hall. Her skin was cold and she was in desperate need of a shower. She turned the water on in the bath and found a clean towel behind her. As she stepped behind the curtain her tears and the water lathered her skin. She rinsed her body with soap which slid down her front and back and later washed her long, brown hair. She couldn’t wait to feel clean again. I wonder if I’ll go to prom, she thought, I wonder if everything will turn out okay. She stared down at her naked body and covered the sight of her stomach with her two hands.

The shower came to a stop and the towel she had left for herself remained on the bar to her right. She wrapped it around her, feeling comforted by its fabric. Thank God it’s Saturday, she thought, now mom won’t have a clue.

Her stomach began to quiver and her knees went weak. Her hands trembled as she lowered herself by the toilet and removed the contents of her stomach. When she flushed the toilet she closed her eyes. Moments passed, her thoughts trapped her, until she finally stood.

“Hey babe,” said the boy from the bedroom who had entered the washroom so silently that Sara hadn’t heard the door creek. “How was your sleep? You’re gorgeous.”


“Baby, is everything alright? You look a bit pale, love,” he said sweetly.
“Devon, stop it,” Sara said without looking at him.
“Sara, baby, what’s wrong?” He asked.


“Dev…” Sara started.
“Baby, what is it?” He walked closer to her and tried to put his arms around her but she pushed him away.
“I need some space,” Sara finally said.
“Babe, what did I do?”

“Would you stop calling me that?” Sara snapped as she walked back into the bedroom and grabbed her clothes from the day before. She dressed herself quickly and put her hair up fast. The water from her shower still lingered on her body and slowly seeped through her clothes. She ran down the stairs and out the door where she sat in her car and waited.

Sara sat in the driver’s seat of her black Honda civic looking down at her stomach covered by yellow fabric and drops of water. It was such a cloudy day, not even the sun’s rays could be seen. Sara refused to turn her head and face the house where she and Devon had made love time and time again. From the door of the house Devon stood watching the car with his hand on his heart.

The clock above the car radio read 12:37 P.M. so Sara shoved her key into the ignition and when the car started she rapidly put the radio on to escape the silence she dreaded. “It’s an old one, but you gotta love it!” Said the disc jockey, “and here we go!” The music started playing and Sara couldn’t help reminiscing on how much her father had loved that song. When Sara was young she hated taking baths and when it was bath time her father would sing to the best of his ability to make his baby smile. Sara wanted to go back. The chorus started up again when she turned the corner. “Now let me tell ya bout the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees and the moon up above and a thing called love.”

“Would you stop singing about all this? You don’t even know, you don’t even know!” Sara yelled at her radio like it was the band’s fault for the life inside of her, destroying her. When the tears came this time, Sara was making her way into her driveway. She straightened up her clothes and wiped the tears from under her eyes hoping that her mother hadn’t come home from her date with Skip.

At her front door, Sara took a deep breath and pushed her key into the lock roughly. She stepped into the house and landed on the red carpet in her hallway. The telephone started ringing and Sara ran to catch it hoping it wasn’t Devon.

“Hey babe,” said a woman’s voice, “It’s mom. How was your night?”
“Oh great,” Sara said with some sarcasm she hoped her mom hadn’t noticed. “What are you up to?”

“Well, Skip and I just got in; we spent the night at his parents’ place,” Sara’s mom said, rushing. “Hun, Skip and I are gonna go up to his cottage tonight, alright? There’s a pizza in the kitchen. You be good, then!” Sara’s mom had hung up the phone before Sara could say goodbye.

Hearing her mother’s voice had made Sara burn up inside. Without a thought more, she climbed into her car and drove to the closest drug store.

“Well, hey there Sara,” said a familiar voice. Sara turned and saw Lucy, a friend from school who talked too much, standing at the cash register waving like a six year old trying to win a candy.

“Hey Lucy, I forgot you worked here,” Sara answered.
“Oh yeah? Well, that’s alright. Why aren’t you out with Devon, I thought tonight was your big night?”


“Well,” Sara began, “he’s at home.”
“I see,” said Lucy, puzzled.

“Yeah, well I’m here to run some errands so…” Sara said walking away, quickly turning into the third isle from the register. She felt Lucy’s curious stare on her back and wished she could just run. Instead, Sara picked up new mascara and some deodorant that she didn’t need, and headed over to the feminine care isle. She found the long, pink, rectangular box she’d been looking for, staring at her straight in the face. Sara looked around the isle assuring herself that no one was watching and she opened her purse and stuffed the box in, zipping it up to hide it. “I can do this!” Sara said to herself as she walked towards Lucy’s register.

Sara paid for the mascara and deodorant and left the store, hoping that the stolen test wouldn’t set off any alarms. When Sara got into the car she drove home in silence as it was something she would have to get used to.

When the clock hit 7:00 P.M. Sara stepped back into her house feeling abandoned and drained. She promised herself that she would rest after she completed the test. Grabbing the box from her purse, she walked into the washroom and hid behind the wooden door. After the sounds of a flushing toilet and running water passed, Sara reopened the bathroom door and wiped her red eyes and sticky cheeks. “I can’t live with this, Daddy,” she said as her knees weakened, leaving her on the bathroom floor. As the night passed on, Sara found enough strength in her to stand up and open the medicine cabinet above the sink. She found an old pill bottle; half empty, and read Warning: Take one ONLY on its cap. The tears kept coming.

Sara held the bottle in her hand and walked throughout her house, popping pills one after the other, and screaming, “Dad where are you? Do you know life’s been horrible since you’ve been gone? Dad, did you know that mom’s been seeing other guys. Daddy, do you know that if you were here you’d be real ticked off at me for what I’ve been doing? Dad, I’m having a baby. Daddy, the baby’s gonna be named after you. Daddy,” she paused, “I’m coming to see you.” Sara’s knees wobbled as she grabbed a piece of paper and a pen by the telephone. Awkwardly, Sara wrote, “Mommy, I’ve gone to show Daddy my baby.” The pen dropped and Sara’s eyes closed for the last time.

The phone rang all night, but Sara couldn’t hear. Each time the calls went unanswered.

Baby, it’s Devon. I hope you’re okay. I love you, call me back. 12:34 A.M.

Hey girl, it’s mom. I’m coming home later this morning. Call me when you wake up. 1:45 A.M.

Babe, it’s Devon again, I miss you and I can’t sleep. I love you and I’m sorry if I did anything wrong to upset you. Come over in the morning. Bye. 2:55 A.M.

Sunshine, you’re probably dreaming about the boy, but I’ll be home in a few hours. Let’s go out for breakfast. 4:14 A.M.

Love, how are you doing? I’m sorry I keep calling; I hope I didn’t wake you up. I love you, I miss you. 7:00 A.M.

Doll, I’m about half an hour away, would you pick up your phone? These teenagers, always sleeping. Anyways, Skip says hello. Love you, see you in a bit. 7:54 A.M.

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