Tuesday, May 11, 2010

a secret is out.

It's so cold out, today. I went for my walk later than I normally do because I wanted to go when it was 10 degrees and not 2. While I was walking, I listened to some slow, thoughtful, somewhat depressing songs. I'm not in a bad mood or anything, I'm just really worried.

Something happened yesterday to one of my best and oldest friends. I don't know what happened. I don't think I'll ever know what happened, I just don't like to read or hear about how much she is hurting. She's been through a lot. Though whether or not I know anything is a completely different story, what I do know has really startled me. It's all I think about. It's all I try to fix. But, I can't do it because I don't know how to reach her. I respect her decision to keep things quiet and to herself, if I didn't respect that I'd be a horrible friend. However, I hope she knows she can trust me. I may have my opinions and several warnings to display, but I'll also listen with my entire heart and hear whatever it is she has to say. Truth is, I have no clue what's going on. I feel like I'm a worm hanging from a bird's mouth after I've just been yanked out of the ground. Like I'm going through this with her but I have no idea what I'm in for. 

Dear friend, no matter what happens, no matter what you keep to yourself, I'm with you for the ride. I may get pissed off. I may tell you my honest opinion. You may not like that. I may not like your perspective on the situation(s) you have/will face(d). But, no matter what happens, I'll stick to you like glue. You don't have to be scared because you're not alone, girl. 

I'm always going to think there is more to the story. I'm always going to question, not what you tell me, but what you've gone through because I feel like the experiences and horrors you have faced should be second guessed. Whatever has happened, you need closure. That closure must come from yourself first. Once you have that, you can begin to trust yourself, once you can do that, you'll be able to trust the girls who've loved you since you were a little girl wearing Cherokee sweaters. I know life is hard. My life can barely compare to what you've gone through. But, I'll try my best to understand.

Love you.


~Abby~ said...

That's good that you're trying to understand; it takes a good person to do that...
Just hang in there.

Francesca said...

I think you're doing everything right. You're being a great, supportive friend, you should be proud of yourself.