Thursday, April 1, 2010

this world will never be what i expected.

Class is already done for the day. Now all that's left to do is go to work, go to yoga, go to dinner, and go home for the weekend. In class I got my speech mark--88 per cent! Wooot! That's my highest mark so far.

Next week we are going to learn about Commemorative speeches--a speech of thanks! Since I don't have anything or anyone in particular to thank, I think I'm going to write my speech in thanks of all the people who told me I was ugly and fat throughout my youth. I'm going to thank them for putting me through turmoil (for lack of a better word) and making me the person I am today. When I was younger, I never saw myself as beautiful. I compared myself to every single person that walked by me. I compared stomach sizes, eye brow shapes, and arm fat. I was obsessed with becoming someone else and not my own person because of the way that I was treated. However, as I grew older, I came to realize that all of the people who told me I wasn't beautiful didn't know shit! 

Beauty can't be determined by simply interpreting a person's appearance. The definition of beauty in a dictionary (a combination of qualities, such as shape, colour, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight), is not accurate either. 

Much like dreams, beauty means something different to each and every person.

If I do follow through with this speech idea, I'm going to thank the boys who made fun of me, the people who didn't believe me, the girls I compared myself to, and "society" for making me feel like a fat, ugly, loser.

I still have confidence issues but I am better off now than I ever was.

I do not feel guilty for eating chocolate. I do not feel guilty for eating food, altogether. I do have bad hair days. I did spend half an hour in the bathroom last night plucking my eyebrows. My nails aren't perfect, either. But, out of all of the people who stigmatized me while growing up, I don't know one who was perfect.


becky said...

Not gonna lie, reading this has definitely made my day. Way to take other peoples' idiocy and turn it into some positive! Very very insightful.
"Much like dreams, beauty means something different to each and every person."
I plan on quoting this plentyy from now on.:)

Barry said...

Posts like this are by far my favourite of everything you write (and damn Leviana you write a lot! But no complaints here).

I can't help but wonder as I continue to read your blog if you don't see some things converging for you.
-You're getting involved in media.
-You have strong opinions on women in society (sorry I know you're not crazy about that word but I'm not sure what else to use right now).
-You see a real need for girls/women to be heard and you're not afraid to encourage them and speak your mind.

I'm wondering if you've considered, perhaps sometime down the road, of working for or starting your own magazine focused on the modern all-girl DIY movement.

We're inundated with media telling us (especially women by an extremely wide margin) how we should look, act and think. But I don't hear nearly enough voices such as yours speaking out.

I think what you're advocating on your blog is amazing Leviana, it sends a very positive message to women but especially younger girls who are generally most impressionable. It would be amazing to see your words circulated in print or on-line to an even wider audience through something like Shameless Magazine (I checked out their website tonight).

leviana coccia. said...

becky--I'm so happy this made your day :) :)

barry--I have actually thought of starting/working for a magazine focused on the modern all-girl DIY movement. I really want to get into something like this in the future! It'd be sweet if I could make a living with it, but if not I'd like to take part in SOMETHING like it to volunteer my time and give back to this community that is in desperate need!!

Barry said...

I'd love to see this happen. Could you keep us informed on your blog of any progress in the future? :)

leviana coccia. said...