Sunday, April 18, 2010

middle of nowhere.

I haven't eaten a legit meal all day. Normally on Sunday's, my family eats one meal - a late lunch at around 2 or 3:00pm. But, my brother worked today until 4:00pm meaning that we aren't eating until 5:00pm. I ate breakfast and some small snacks here and there so my stomach is rumbling. 

I can't wait to eat dinner - pasta, fresh tomato sauce, salad, broccoli, and sausage. Typical Italian Sunday dinner, right there.

My grandmother's here for dinner - she's the one that can't know about Nick because she's judgmental and traditional and all those things. It drives me crazy. Since Nick bought me a ring on our first Valentine's Day, I've been paranoid about her asking me who bought me it.

My mom tells me to just let it go. It's hard. I want to have a normal relationship with my boyfriend and have him over for dinners, have him help my dad in the yard, and have him at all family functions. We've been dating for over 3 years and 3 months and yes, he comes over for dinner, and yes, my dad was teaching him to use the bbq last summer, and yes, things have gotten better, but it kills me knowing he won't be able to be a part of any family functions until after university or until after there's an engagement ring on my left hand.

Sometimes I really just want to run away from all of this, but I can't. This is my family.

I promise - I will never be like this my grandchildren. They will always be able to tell me anything and everything without me judging.

Pshh...and my grandmother calls herself "modern." So frustrating.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My grandmother sounds like that too.