Friday, January 1, 2010

money can't buy me love.

As I waved goodbye to the girls this morning, I realized that I will have to wait another long month and a half until I see Cass again. It's hard going through life without someone you've known since your youth physically close to you. It's okay, though, because she is only a text away and she will always be honest with me but continue to support me no matter what.

I'm listening to "Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop" by Landon Pigg and I'm feeling bummed because I will always be the person who cares too much about everything; about love, about school, about family, about friends. I don't expect much in return, but sometimes I feel like because I care too much everything backfires in my face; that because I hardly put myself first I miss out on being treated. I'm not the most secure person in the world, nor am I perfect, but I've always tried to own up to everything I've done wrong and I really try to make sure that I never do those things again. 

Life and love are not easy, nor are they easy topics, which are some of the reasons why I have this blog--to express life and love as I live it--but in this new year I would like to find out why I continue to try my best to put others before myself and never forget about the other person, yet the outcome is never rewarding. That's not to say that I'll stop being myself, because it's just my nature, I just dislike how all I need in this life is love but that still isn't good enough.

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